He Noticed

Jeffrey and I were talking this week with a mentor of ours about our marriage. We said it’s been hard to will the energy to connect with each other at the end of the day. We’re tired. Spent from a day at work and parenting little hearts.

I mean we do talk. About our to-do lists. About “that thing we committed to on Tuesday night, so don’t forget.” About how to handle a situation with Elle at school. We say words, but often forget to connect them to the heart.

She encouraged us in saying it is hard, but it is worth it to make your marriage first. To look your spouse in the eyes at the end of the day and ask them how they are really doing. To not give into the excuses that your marriage can wait.

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Jeffrey sent me this text early this morning, from our bedroom as I made our kids lunches in the kitchen. A short text, but man— it’s impact on my heart was deeper.

We have our dance, the way we move to make our lives and family run smoothly from sun up to sun down, from Monday to Sunday. It’s easy to accept our lanes and go about our day as such. But this text. It stopped me midway through cutting the grapes in half.

I’ve been washing, folding, and hanging laundry in our family since it’s inception. I’ve done a thousand loads. I don’t even think about it anymore.

But he did today.

He noticed.

He stopped to tell me.

He saw me.

Man. I think this might be a secret of marriage. To see and notice. To stop and thank. Even for the things she’s done a million times. Even for the things he’s expected to do.

I felt loved and encouraged and spurred on today. Yes we are tired and spent. And yes it’s hard. But it matters, it really does.