Four Years Later

Our Elle girl turns four today. As I look at her face, which is more girl now than baby, I remember her tiny little body being placed on my chest. The moment I became a mom. Her mom. I remember how she fit so perfectly with her head under my chin, legs curled up on my deflated belly. Sleeping peacefully, not knowing that the heart she laid on was full of questions + unknowns + oh so much love. ⁣

Four years later I know more. Like how to change a diaper with one hand and how to swaddle/rock/shush a baby to sleep and then sneak out of the room like a ninja. ⁣

But four years later I still have a lot of questions. Like how to teach her about grace. What words to use to describe what self-control is and why it’s important. What boundaries she still needs and where I need to let go a little. ⁣

⁣Four years later, I’m a more confident mom. ⁣

Four years later, I say “I don’t know” a lot and pray for wisdom. ⁣

Four years later, I still have so much love for this girl of mine. ⁣

Today she is four. And today I sort of feel four too.